Ask the right questions

Today, my oncologist explained to me what we will do during the next months. The doctor told me that it’s a very aggressive tumor, which is why we are going to do this heavy therapy. If I’m lucky I’m already tumor-free, but we cannot be sure of that. We will start with a five-week radiation treatment. During this time I will have to spend some weeks in the hospital. After that, we will start with the real chemotherapy, which will last for four to five months. During this time, I will have to go to the hospital once a week for the infusion. The remaining time I can watch the ducks on the lake and buy new hats to cover my bald head. I liked the doctor and I’m very lucky that we found the tumor at such an early stage. The fact that I am young will also help us a lot, because we can push the chemo much harder than at an older age.

Returning from the hospital I got my bike and went for a ride. Pedaling up the mountains I was thinking, ‘It’ is not about the “why.” It’s about the “how”!’ Getting depressed by the diagnosis doesn’t get me very far. I have to focus on the future steps, put all my energy into a mindset that will support me during these heavy treatments. Rolling down the mountain at a dangerously high speed, I screamed out loud! First, I let the anger out – the ‘why.’ With the second scream, the ‘why’ transformed itself into a ‘how,’ into a self-affirmation, into a confident perception of the strength of my body. I felt great after that.


Martin Inderbitzin